Treasury Department Honors Women With First Female Currency

(TheOnion) WASHINGTON—Saying it was time all Americans were equally represented, the U.S. Treasury Department announced Thursday that it would honor the nation’s women by introducing the country’s first female currency. “For too long, our currency has only been representative of half the country, but beginning today, women in the United States will finally be able to carry and use money that’s the same sex they are,” said Treasury Secretary Jack Lew, adding that the new female banknotes would feature softer green hues and a slightly smaller, shapelier form. “By introducing female currency into circulation, we are celebrating the strong and vital roles that women have played in shaping our nation. And when today’s girls see legal tender that is composed of both male and female bills, it sends a powerful message about our nation’s commitment to equality.” Lew followed his announcement by noting that the Treasury would introduce the first openly gay dimes into the economy as early as next year.