How to contour like an Instagram pro

Are you going to a wedding? Prom? Satanic black mass? Need a finishing touch to your makeup? Why look drab when you can look fab with a perfect contour & high light!  How? Look no further than Instagram!

The following video will instruct you into achieving the best contour & highlighting, perfect for (almost) any occasion!

Video is from YouTube user "NikkieTutorials"

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Ladies, ever had this problem? You're into a fellow, but you feel like you're just aren't catching his eye? Well don't worry, relationship guru Rebeccah Rachel is here to tell you how to get the attention of a man while you're having sex with him.

Treasury Department Honors Women With First Female Currency

(TheOnion) WASHINGTON—Saying it was time all Americans were equally represented, the U.S. Treasury Department announced Thursday that it would honor the nation’s women by introducing the country’s first female currency. “For too long, our currency has only been representative of half the country, but beginning today, women in the United States will finally be able to carry and use money that’s the same sex they are,” said Treasury Secretary Jack Lew, adding that the new female banknotes would feature softer green hues and a slightly smaller, shapelier form. “By introducing female currency into circulation, we are celebrating the strong and vital roles that women have played in shaping our nation. And when today’s girls see legal tender that is composed of both male and female bills, it sends a powerful message about our nation’s commitment to equality.” Lew followed his announcement by noting that the Treasury would introduce the first openly gay dimes into the economy as early as next year.

L’Oréal Releases New Line Of Makeup Specifically For Men To Wear When Wives Not Home

Via The Onion:
NEW YORK—In an effort to cater to a long-neglected demographic, global cosmetics brand L’Oréal released Sheer Discretion this week, a new line of makeup specially designed for men to wear when their wives are not home. “Sheer Discretion enables men everywhere to finally give themselves the full eyelashes and pouty lips they deserve while their wives are away at work,” L’Oréal representatives said of the cosmetic products, which come in discreet packaging and can be quickly wiped clean with just a splash of water if one’s wife suddenly walks through the front door. “Featuring a smooth foundation that conceals, hides imperfections, and blends evenly over the thickest stubble, our Sheer Discretion line of products are casual enough for just hanging out in the living room in your wife’s blouse or providing that exact dash of chic you need to pull off her ruby chiffon gown.” L’Oréal executives confirmed that the product release would be accompanied by an advertising campaign urging women to enjoy an evening out with their friends and leave their husbands at home for the night.

Satire: Maybelline Introduces New Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask To Use In Place Of Makeup

Maybe it's Maybelline..

NEW YORK—Touting it as their most stylish and advanced beauty product to date, officials from global cosmetics brand Maybelline unveiled Thursday the Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask, a flexible facial covering that can be worn over the head in lieu of makeup. “Instead of spending hours each morning applying multiple cosmetic products, now women can simply roll out of bed, grab their stunning latex polymer beauty mask that has been molded to accepted standards of female beauty, and stretch it snugly over their face and hair,” Maybelline spokeswoman Jessica Healy said of the one-size-fits-all contoured masks, which designers carefully crafted with rouged cheeks, pouty full lips, high cheekbones, and a small taut chin for maximum physical appeal. “In the short time it takes to line up the mask’s mouth, nose, and eye holes with your own features, you’ll easily achieve a look that would have otherwise taken hours to create, allowing you to confidently go through the day without ever having to pause to reapply.” Maybelline executives noted that the Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask is only available in Caucasian.

Read more HERE