The U.S. Government Wants to Keep You From Wearing "Comfyballs" Boxers

(The following contains mature subject matter that some may not find suitable, discretion is advised)

(Gawker.com) - The regrettably named Norwegian underwear brand Comfyballs was all set to make its big debut in the U.S. this year when it was shut down by the country's patent and trademark office. A trademark on Comfyballs, USPTO argued, was just too vulgar for Americans to accept.

The Independent reports on the tribulations of the company, which was already comforting balls across Australia, New Zealand, Scandinavia, and the U.K. when its trademark application was denied:

But American authorities banned it from operating under that name, finding that, "in the context of the applicant's goods... Comfyballs means only one thing - that a man's testicles, or 'balls,' will be comfortable in the applicant's undergarments.

"The mark does not create a double entendre or other idiomatic expression... When used in this way, the word, 'balls' has an offensive meaning."

What makes Comfyballs so comfy? According to the company, the fist-sized crotch protrusion you see on the pair above isn't just for looks. Au contraire, it is the pinnacle of testicular technology:

Package Front™ is designed to keep your equipment in place, while being lifted away from the inside of your thighs, preventing unnecessary heating of the balls. Extremely curved panels combined with innovative use of elastic fabric seams lift the user experience to a new level!

Citing successful trademarks on brands like "Nice balls," and "I love my balls," Comfyballs founder Anders Selvig told the Independent he'd like to see the USPTO review its decision to pan his application. Until then, Hanes and Fruit of the Loom will have to suffice for owners of insufficiently cushioned scrotums. Read the rest HERE  

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